Growing up-optional, Growing old-a must

*Removes cob webs on the keyboard*
Ladies and gentlemen, i am back.  *applause* or not.
Without getting any more RSI (repetitive strain injuries) i will say why i am back.

I have this friend, a guy obviously, no don't be quick to judge, well this guy friend of mine, lets name him Steve. Is getting on my nerves.
The guy is not growing up...such a waste of space.

The type of Steve

 Now Steve is the kind of guy whom when he invites a woman out, he takes her to Gamers Zone on Prestige Plaza to play video games. I have nothing against this dont get me wrong but the problem comes when his girlfriends, several of them that i wonder how he manages to shuffle between them, come to me his friend to compain.
"Saf this guy is like my small brother MSSSCHEEEW" I always ask them, "Why did you agree to date him if he is like your small bro?" "I thought i could change him."They separately answer back but had you put them in the same room it would have sounded like an Capella piece.
I have always wondered why would someone date someone with the aim of changing them. Is it practical really? That is our topic for another day.mh.

Personally i think Steve is afraid of responsibility, and all it comes with.

This guy you leave your phone to visit the ladies maybe, and he will make a mountain out of a mole hill. I have left you my phone, what of my baby? please grow up.
Now as the title of this post goes, growing old is a must. Come every year you celebrate your birthday in whatever way you can (which reminds me i am going for a pals birthday tomorrow night).
Growing up is your choice or rather an individual decision.

Stuck on Steve

Now we all have an experience in this, having someone "Young at heart with us"

Whether its a lady who always dresses clothes three sizes smaller. She does not own any pair of closed (official shoes), her hairdo is always back pussy cat or the likes, you get where am heading at.

I think i should let them be, ryt?

As long as i am invited to their 27th birthday and he is still in  Ben 10 shirt. I do not give a hoot.

Gotta go, Steve called ati he has some place he wants me to escort him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he wants me to help him go get new Ben 10 shirts.

Take care.

AND GROW UP...

The Guy Constitution

Here i was browsing through kevin Karimi's  profile on Facebook and i come across this one note that completely gets my attention, not because of the truth in it but for the courage to summon us ladies to it. Have a read.
 

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ (Le Constitution)

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules " From the female side.  Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers. 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down....Do you?

1.Sports...... It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.  See a doctor. 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials....not when my favorite program is going on 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.... NB: anywhere 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it i s just not worth the hassle. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or FOOTBALL. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;   But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 

A year wiser

On 8th of this month i turned a year older (A lady never tells her age) though i know most of you can guess, no dummy i am not past 25. NKT

So my friends and i organized as ka small party to celebrate a life well lived...scratch that, a life being lived well.
The place was in the heart of Kabete and though most of my people complained of the distance i took it as a getaway of some sorts and they made it to the bash .
Thanks guys, love u all.

What surprised me at the party was the huge no of fellas who came to the party, empty handed.
The invite said you gotta come with a drink in hand, now i could not cater for the super drums that were present, ah ah. Not happening.
Ok flashfoward to the guy who always brings trouble, these bozo wanted to fight coz his glass woz empty or samn like that, i cannot remember.(i woz having a good time to care)
So guyz were all drunk or rather, i was. And came cake time, THE CAKE WAS MISSING, so i had to call up some pals who were on their way and it ended up that they were drunk and brought the pieces above..smh (shaking my head)
I appreciated their effort and was very content at the fact that they had gone beyond extreme measures to get it...nope they didn't steal it..

So as it approaches 0230 hours the fighter guy whom no one had invited decides to leave, with those "rambo paperbags" FULL OF SHOES...
Seriously in this era who does that?? steal shoes?? this was the low down of the night. People were bored after that but thank heavens they were cool and the party continued till dawn...

In a quick flash. Someone pucked (as expected) someone made out(Without pointing fingers) there was a quickie n no don't judge me yet, i didn't. I was the bday girl so i had to make sure things were running smoothly.
I thank everyone who made it there in mind and body and if you were not invited it was for the best.
Trust me.

Smells like a man, doesnt act like a man.

Question, how many of you (men) would like a chiq who smells like a guy, in the sense that she puts on male lotion, male perfume male deodorant and other masculine products?
OK, hands down.
I will assume the others are into female products and stuff.
I ask this because i am not one of the latter, i use versman or Nivea for men and the likes, reason is they smell great and don't let me get into how hydrating the products are to my skin *wink*
My big siz thinks that its not right because she and her dude should not smell the same- masculine.  But come on that's as far as the argument goes.

Lets get logic here

If i apply these male products does it make me in any way a man? No. 
If i chiq applies it does it make her guy any less of a man? Again, No.
I agree that yeah you will smell the same but people i though true love was all about you being me end me being you (I am imagining the cringe on my friend Shaz's face right now. LOL) come on girl can you put on his lotion?I bet she wouldn't mind.

Anyway my point is if she smells like a man she is not necessarily a man or a tom boy. 

We could all run out of time counting the number of guys who put on eye pencil, shave their eyebrows, have manicures and pedicures yet they are still men in the pants , maybe less of men in the head. So next time your babe smells like you do, just appreciate.
Its a mans world i guess but as Beyonce says who run the world?
Girls.

Down but not under

I have been feeling low, not in the mood to write anything but i priorotised. I am back now, got motivated more.
So where where we?
 Oh my letter from Sam.

5 years later after bumping into Sam in town, he asks me why i never replied his letter. 

He adds that he is in the university now doing Aeronautical Eng. Way to go Sam.

Address

August 3rd 

Dear dear Sam i know we were young and naive but that's all we were, a bunch of teenagers and obviously you were more head over heels with me, i am not complaining but dear Sam you are chasing a mirage. 

First my English is better than yours thanks to the public school we BOTH went to, heheh.

My height could also say the same.

Dear you put conditions on me if i reply bla bla bla, i am not encouraged by conditions. I detest them just i detest taking orders from anyone.(except the wrath of my mother) i am not afraid to say it.

I am not with the intention of busting your bubble or popping your cherry but me and you are not going to happen, i know you will say yet but its okay still.I wish not to kill your inner drive.
I have to rush on to something so text me later if i gave you  my number.
Selective insomnia.

Yours truly,
Never would be.

When a man's words get him NOWHERE!!

Long gone are these days...
(Rewind to many years back, check grammar. NOTHING EDITED.)

Boys High School

P.O.Box Private Bag

Somewhere

18-5-2000 and samn samn.

Howz, life over there? Any monolization? Hope none. I hope you are doing fine and going on well.

Mie huku Jabz ville bee ningali na struggle angalau ni dignify ma dignity.So coming to ma point I love dis school. I mean wasee u perform poa to sana

Long tyme, no seen about two weeks, na hope the beautiful smile on your face is still exciting.

Remember u 'n' ur friendship means alot to me.

Enyewe safina i really really luike you, whenever i think about u i feel you as if u 'r' the only pals in ma blood.

Figure yako ingali ina dwell in ma 72 beats dynamic speaker 24/7. Our friendship is lyke a rose that blossoms 'n' have nice scent but the only difference between us 'n' the rose is that we do not wilt but 'b' good friends.

Always remember that when you are out of sight ur not out of my mind.

Stories & memories are 4gotten, rivers dry, birds fly away, songs fate, all things come 2 an end, but precious pple like u are a tressure 4ever, you are the one in ma heart.

Pliz i am really dying to see 'U' so if you dont mind pliz reply.

                 Remesh: Love is always thinking of new ways to say i love 'u'

If you reply i owh 'u' a kiss if 'u' dont 'u' owh me an apology.

Good-bye for now untill middy if not 'u' write back.

Anyway i love 'u' 2 much.

From (Name of the guy)

We will discuss this in the next edition.

How long is a short 1?

7 days to be single again

Last Sunday, we went visiting one of the close people to me, it was one of those days where i have a day well spent and get to catch up with my friends whom i have not met in a long time.

The week before- Monday to be exact, i meet my friend, she tells me she is in a relationship and what not, we jump in excitement as she tells me the details of how he asked her out and all that till she said yes to him (dating mind you, not engagement) i have to laugh at that one, haahaha.

Come Sunday she is with us but single this time. 

WE all are n shock because a week is too short to even call it a relationship.So we probe further and her testimony to it makes us all wonder about her new trend, read on.

Day 1

This is the day she met the guy, he gets her curiosity and she is more interested in this new guy- if we may call him that.

Mr. man being the man he is gets her number and thanks to the unlimited texts, conversation gets started and lasts till the middle of the night. Target locked.

Day 2

On this day there is room to miss each other as both are held up  with their various occupations but a text message takes not more than 5 minutes to reply.All looks promising on this day.

Day 3 and 4 

"Why don't you come over i would like us to see each other". This two days are for getting to know each other better, on day 3 my gal and her man have done almost everything and on day 4 there is no talk but all action, lord have mercy.

Day 5

No one texts and my girl though she wants to does not because she does not want to seem like the weak one and she consoles herself that he is very busy and will text before he goes to bed. Shock. 

By this time we are thinking, he already got what he was after , we listen on.

 

Day 6

The guy did not text or call so its a cold war kind of situation, she texts he replies he has bee busy and will call another time (notice he does not give exact period)

My girl realizes she deserves more and her calls are not being picked,its a clear sign that even a blind person will read.

Day Single again

Sunday, we hook up and she is all gloomy until she tells us she is single again and searching, or so we thought.

Question is, how fast or  slow should you take it?  because my girl did an express dating and it was over before it even stared.

 You tell me.

Of Nudity And Of Decency

Shout out to all naked n semi-nakedees

Today i would like to halla at all the chiqs (or chips) with nude photos in the social media (Facebook, twitter, mocospace) and all others i have not mentioned.Like on the left, yeah i know she is eye candy, but that's all that meets the eyes.
To the right, all decent and presentable and most Generation Y of us will be like that's boring, too conservative.I know you, yes you, are into the left woman.

More followers more friends.

There is this girl. name with held because i know you will search her as soon as you know the name, now this girl her profile picture is herself naked, true story. She has like 5000 friends and this makes her feel more popular, or so i guess. My problem does not come on with the picture, it is when you put it and why the hell would you tag me in your naked photo?

I want to know...

I am tired of these chiqs and even guys who upload a photo of themselves and tag almost all their friends. I don't know if it is your assets you arwe showing me yet i have seen or know or possess better, that is a lame move just so u know.Thank you for the tag but i think you are not far from the phrase "chips funga" or "sausage funga"

"Principals are still intact"

People who do this are likely to say that their principals are still intact and so on and so forth, i got news for you,all i hear is bla bla bla.
Why?? because once you put on your naked picture for the world to see, your principles are already compromised, dont you think??


Again,its my opinion.
Have an explicit content free week ahead, you deserve it.

Till it all backfires

I have a confession to make, i am one of those people who copy paste stuff, and print. In a more practical case, i type a text, which i feel suits the situation n broadcast it (now if you have a kabambe you might not know what i mean but then again in the kabambe is the "add recipient" option.Av been there,yeah)
So i type a text, "hey where are you? are you free, wanna see you" I press broadcast, to 10 of my people.

Shock on me at the responses

Person number one says he is in class, so is number two and don't think i was being stood up, who can do that to all of this, anyway some are available but do not interest my fancy so i text back "just asking" n put a LOL (laugh out loud if you do not know) there. I am down to three people. Game on.
Now these people are in three different locations and Safeminist as to juggle through the city to reach them. I read somewhere that if a lady cancels a date its because she has to and if a man cancels a date its because he has TWO.I have three, what you gonna do? Read on.

First stop

Location:City center, a restaurant, we split bills because this is abrupt.
Entrance time:12pm
Occasion\Purpose:Catching up and in my mind providing him time tofungua roho because i will not give him one after this, he does not say anything concerning relationships, i am kinda disappointed but i compose myself. Looking at my watch, time to go.
Exit time:2:05 pm

 Second stop

Location: House
Entrance time: since its near town, and thanks to the traffic jam i arrive at 3 pm
Occasion\Purpose:just as above...hehehe
Whatever happens happens, and as they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Exit time:6 pm. heading into town and guy number 3 is blazing my phone asking where i am.by 7 i am back in town.

Third stop

By the time i am here i am tired and just want to go home, so i make it brief, "next time we should met earlier he tells me" in my mind, "i should schedule you to number one next time, not three"

And the habit habit continues....

Finally i am at home, exhausted.  In bed now i type a text "Had a great time today we should do it again *smiley face* Goodnight"..again i press BROADCAST.
A day well spent.
Lights off.

That Girl Who Wount Spend

Most of you have been saying that i am unfair to guys, i am seeing on them which i guess he meant a translation of 'nawaonea' but today i take a chill pill.
I am feeling guys who have those chicks who would not spend a dime when with a man. "what is his money for anyway?" i could quote a friend of mine who is one of these species.
This lady is not the poorest i know nor is she the richest i know but come on, if you offer to pay the bus fare for once , it would not kill a guy.

"Bruise my ego"

I ask my male friends if they would let a lady pay for a service be it lunch, dinner, or even that bus fare. 
Their answer, generally, they would not let a mama do that, "she will turn the story on me to look like a loser" (only an immature lady would do this by the way) Some ladies i am told will brag that they fed a guy.
 Some male guys would let her pay, "if she invited me then she should pay, if i invited her i will definately own up so that i also get a third date,"
My take, 
The day i invite you, for lunch, yes you. I will pay but in the meantime if you keep insisting we hook up, you will pay the bill or we split, (again depending on how well we relate) 

So back to the lady on top, she is going out today, invited of course, and all i am waiting for is her to call me i M-pesa her fare to her Friday destination, of course with a promise to refund but i do not expect to happen because i am told real friends don't pay debts they owe you.for real.
Aha,there goes my ringtone, Lady friend calling, gotta go.


Have a fabulous weekend though.


 

Its Friday

Its Friday!!

Furahiday is here, and its raining, making the evening dull altogether, but wait for it, people will still go out, considering that it was end month just at the beginning of the week.

I did not intend to write anything today but seeing the number of TGIF s going around it gave me something. 

Its been long since i went out i must admit (the economy is pulling us all apart not that you don't know) but the last time i went out i had a great time, thanks to my people.

My question  would be if love can be found in a hopeless place-i had to use that line,thank you.
So being a Friday night club will be packed to usher in the weekend. People dashing in from their stuffy offices to even more stuffier clubs to drink one two to "release tension"or "release lock" as most of them refer it as.

Tonight i will not be one of them.

I will be all indoors hibernating.Which reminds me, the last time we went out, my friend and i meet this guy, good looking i could tell even in the infrared lights bouncing off the walls, the guy was a little tipsy and was talking all he could talk at the same time.

Fast forward to last month

I bump into Mr. Met at the club. Cool and composed and very sober this time, he tells me the reason he was there was because of his friends, and that they had abandoned him there after he got drunk. That gets me thinking, is it worth it to go out, alone or with your friends and risk being robbed, being mugged, getting out of control.
Hey its just a thought, and i would like you to think abut that.
Whatever you do, wherever you go.
Stay safe people.
TGIF.

Introducing your GIRLFRIEND as your SISTER, SERIOUSLY?

I don't know how to put this one down without stepping on unhealed wounds of some of the people in my inner circle, but for all its worth, here goes.
See my friend and her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend right now) were out and about one afternoon taking a walk together just like you people in relationships do. They were all over each other P.D.A (public display of affection) and all that, until they meet the boyfriends friends. Being the good gal she is my gal steps aside to give her guy room with his friends, walks aside with a smile. "hey who is that?" she hears the guys asking about her.

"Thats my siz."

The guys look a her with all the hyena eyes they could master and my gal looks away as if she has not heard a word.Playing dumb, its called.
Okay i have no problem with the girl.This guy is my issue here, was he too ashamed to say that she is his girlfriend? Or was he just being appreciating?

For the sake of Safeminist's readership i will not generalize this, i will stick to this one man.Introducing your girlfriend as your sister eithr leaves her the option of concluding that she is a single woman or that your friends know another gorlfriend you have. I know guys will say that maybe he was 'protecting' her from his friends who would have taken advantage and tried to lure her, but fellas that is not an excuse and yes i know u might think my gal is to blame but seriously how far are you going to push it for a relationship?

Have a fulfilling Wednesday, now would you? 

Why HE cannot date me or SaFeminist cannot date him.

Many people i meet always ask why are u single why aren't you seeing any and so on and so forth.

Its not that i have not met the right people or that am not straight, people i am very straight, but some people i meet leave me astonished or better yet repelled.

This type of a guy.

I know where you meet someone should determine how you relate with then, i met this one in school. So the approach is all casual and laid back.

He is the silent guy whom only talks when need be. Yeah i liked him but i think i am jinxed, or is he. Just when i am about to say yes to him and myself being an item, he opens his mouth. Oozes of cheap liquor and that turns me onto rude chick mode.

 "Will you be my girlfriend"he asks...my mind replies "not even if you and i were the ones to save humanity" "i have a boyfriend", i reply. "sorry."

First impression lasts.

Fellas you need to know that a lady is either attracted or driven away by how you present yourself. This one would have made it but his general self presentation made me run for the hills and this has not happened once or twice.

You leave me no option but to choose the easier way out, i have a boyfriend.

So to answer my friends questions, why are you single safeminist? 

I AM SINGLE DUE TO PUBLIC DEMAND!!

Word.

Why HE cannot date me or SaFeminist cannot date him.

Many people i meet always ask why are u single why aren't you seeing any and so on and so forth.

Its not that i have not met the right people or that am not straight, people i am very straight, but some people i meet leave me astonished or better yet repelled.

This type of a guy.

I know where you meet someone should determine how you relate with then, i met this one in school. So the approach is all casual and laid back.

He is the silent guy whom only talks when need be. Yeah i liked him but i think i am jinxed, or is he. Just when i am about to say yes to him and myself being an item, he opens his mouth. Oozes of cheap liquor and that turns me onto rude chick mode.

 "Will you be my girlfriend"he asks...my mind replies "not even if you and i were the ones to save humanity" "i have a boyfriend", i reply. "sorry."

First impression lasts.

Fellas you need to know that a lady is either attracted or driven away by how you present yourself. This one would have made it but his general self presentation made me run for the hills and this has not happened once or twice.

You leave me no option but to choose the easier way out, i have a boyfriend.

So to answer my friends questions, why are you single safeminist? 

I AM SINGLE DUE TO PUBLIC DEMAND!!

Word.

What happens on the third date?

Now this is a question the person i visited last time posed to me. Honestly, i don't know the answer. I am hoping you would help me find out.
I don't know the answer because i have not been on a third date with these broad chested macho men, they never impress enough or give me a reason to go on a third one.A practical example.
This guy with the unique name i know calls me,invites me for lunch that day am out shopping with my sweet sis so we meet at a restaurant in town.The jamaa having to impress the lady (moi) tells me to order, i look at his shoes, YES shoes and have pity on him. Fries and chicken.he orders TEA. At the brink of Nairobi's hot weather, tea? i shrug.
Chit chat here and there the bill comes.the guy looks at it then that's when he decides to go receive a phone call.15 minutes later no sign.Being the feminist i am, i payed the bill while the son of a man was 'receiving a phone call'

Days later called by another one, responsible this time and i gladly decline the offer in the most charming of ways, thanks to charisma. 

I am not saying all men would do that but niggah please be who you are. "I am who i am",even God said that when Moses asked Him who he was.I do not sleep in church like u do. Anyway piece of advice ladies have cash on a date and gentlemen do not stretch over your elastic limit, u will break.

Back to the agenda, what happens because we have talked all there is, we have passed the formalities. Do not think am scared, i just don't know how to handle such a strong adversarial.but worry not, SaFeminist got it all planned out. Watch this space.

SaFeminist Diary: Getting To Know Me

SaFeminist Diary: Getting To Know Me:  Definition Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social ...

Getting To Know Me

 Definition

Feminism is a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. 
Well i wouldn't focus on the political as such but rather the economical and SOCIAL part of feminism.(underline the social part) am a lady u know and a pretty one as such.Thank God.
okay straight to the point now, am sick and tired of these men running all over town broad chested like they sit on the throne of humanity. 
SaFeminist is here to change all that, relax girls and fellows be warned.

What led to change of heart and mind.

 My grandfather robbed his wife (grandma) of all their matrimonial property and he remarried their family friend.Shame.
My first aunt was battered by her husband to death.
My mother, that's another story for another day.
You get where am getting at, don't you?

Today's Agenda.

Heading to town in a few to meet, a guy, what should i wear, any suggestions? *winks*